Today’s post is by Pamela Evbota, and it’s part of her virtual book tour for her new book ‘How To Raise Kids Without Losing It’. Good luck with your book launch, Pamela!
(You can find out about virtual book tours in Kindle Marketing, by the way).
Until you find meaning concerning your life, no one will make it meaningful.
People are always in the habit of belittling themselves out of what they define to be humility. They shrink their personality, their achievement; but are these acts of humility or act of acceptance from others.
How do you define yourself?
Do you define yourself by what you do? – a mumpreneur, small business owner, office assistance.
Do you define yourself by the roles you play in the lives of others? Mother, wife, maid, sister.
Do you define yourself by who you are? Compassionate, loving, joyful.
Finding meaning is finding yourself and knowing why you are here in the first place. Until you know for sure who you are and what you have been born to do, you might end up living another person’s life.
You are more than your titles and degrees. What you have read in college does not define by any stretch who you are.
The roles you play in the lives of the people around you are different. How does this begin to define who you are?
Do you seek to find out who you are in your core? What values do you hold so dear. Is this your defining truth?
Being a mother and a wife is certainly not all you were born to be. No one can help you find true meaning without you making the first move. It is good to be a good mother that is always ready to take care of her kids and others. But remember that you have an identity outside of motherhood. Learn to spend time in exploring more about your life and how you can make a difference with what you have going on the inside of you.
Most times when we get off with the wrong definition of who we truly are, it affects our perspective of our lives and our business. Our mindset and attitude is often derived from how we truly define our selves.
You and I don’t need anyone to belittle us because, most times we do it to ourselves because we want to be humble and not look proud. We owe it to ourselves to stand up tall and give a proper definition to who we truly are and walk in that path.
2012 is fast on our heels you don’t need a list of goals that you wont work on achieving. Let your first goal be to give a proper definition of who you are and your values. If the basics are not taken care of, then we are on the right foot. We cannot build our lives on a wrong foundation. In the coming year explore other passions that you might possess that can open up a new chapter in your life.
As a mother, a wife or an entrepreneur ask yourself and be sure to give an appropriate answer “What defines me and where am I headed?”
If you are able to give an honest answer, nothing will look impossible to accomplish in the coming year because you will be acting from your strength.
Pamela Evbota is passionate about helping women discover their purpose and she is the author of ‘How to Raise Kids Without Losing It’. She blogs at www.ladiesnetworking.com. Her book will be available on www.createspace.com as well as on Amazon Kindle in the coming week. If you would like to pre order for the book please leave a comment.
Hi Helen,
Thanks for having me on your blog today. I would like offer a subscriber the opportunity to win a copy of my book. Do leave a comment to win.
Pamela
Great post. you must not let others or your circumstances or environment define you, define yourself and take charge of your life. I am so looking forward to reading your new book Pamela
Thanks Bridget for your comment. Indeed we must become conscious of who we are and find our definition from there.
I love this blog – so thought provoking. I can so empathise with living a life defined by others’ expectations and living a life I thought I should. What really helped me define myself outside of my roles was to thinking long and hard about the fantastic life I want my son to live. I want him to have the confidence and freedom to explore life with passion and compassion on his terms, not mine or anyone elses. I realised the greatest gift I can give to him is to demonstrate this myself by being true to myself and trusting in him that he has the strength, skills and confidence to find his own path. This gave me permission not to be contrained by what I thought I should be doing and to live my life how I want to be. Really looking forward to reading your book.
Hi Elinor,
For me when i had my kids i thought yes this is all i am meant to be so i poured my heart into taking care of them. But then other aspects of my life seem at a stand still and through the struggle i began to realise that being a parent wasn’t all i was meant to be.
The love we feel for my kids could really blind us to every other aspects of our lives.
Very impressive to get a book out, I am so looking forward to reading it. You are absolutely right about ‘being a mother is not all you were born to be’. So true. It’s just a bit hard sometimes to fit all these other roles in too. Just a point of caution (needed for people like me): don’t overdo the ‘who am I and what are my values’ bit. It might stop you from doing anything before you have found The Right Thing. It’s important to go and do things, and along the way you will learn more about who you are and where you want to go.
Hi Inge,
I quite understand what you mean by the caution. We can be quite emotonal about being pulled in several directions. But in all during your ‘Me time’ always remember to take care of yourself and find meaning away from all the various activities.
Hi Ladies,
‘How to Raise Kids without Losing it’ is now available on kindle. Use this link to purchase a copy. http://www.amazon.com/Raise-Kids-Without-Loosing-ebook/dp/B006NPRJK0/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1324367322&sr=8-3
Elinor Wilde is the winner of a free Ebook copy of the book.
Elinor expect your Ebook before the close of business today. Congratulations
Just back from braving the crowds doing Christmas shopping to find out I’d won this prize – Christmas has come early! What a lovely surprise. Thank you so much.
My definition is simply in the values I am able to inculcate in my children. If I am able to aptly do this, then I know that I have succeeded in fulfilling my purpose as a parent on earth.